You do not know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have

I woke up in hospital and didn’t remember how or why I was there. My family had been waiting for 3 weeks with a mixture of hope and dread in their hearts. They hoped that I would survive, despite my critical injuries, but they dreaded having to tell me that I had lost my partner and my little girl, who was 8 at the time. Four of us had been involved in a head-on collision, after a memory-filled weekend away. And only two of us survived. In that moment, everything changed.

Jess and Clint were gone and my condition was touch and go. I had sustained a major head-injury, smashed both my feet, broken my sacrum and a couple of ribs and had so much internal bleeding that they didn’t think I would make it through the night. My eldest daughter was also critical and family were told to prepare themselves for the worst.

It was not my time. And some deeper, stronger part of myself fought to survive. I pushed through the pain, worked through the grief and have come out the other side, stronger and with a better understanding of who I am and of what life is all about. I refuse to let this tragedy be for nothing and I have a deep desire to use my experience for good.

I love people and value deep and real connections with them. I don’t do fake and have been described as having “no filter” due to the head injury I sustained.  Honesty and authenticity are key for me. I have learnt to ask for help and to not be so bloody self-reliant. And I have adapted to life as a parent of one. A teenage one at that!

In 2012 I stopped drinking and joined a 12-step recovery program. So much of what I learnt through that has helped me to get through something that I never thought I could handle. Loss of a loved one was one of my greatest fears and I always imagined that I would “all fall down” in that situation. Having learnt the importance of feeling my feelings and that ”acceptance is the answer”, I could put those into practice and find healing and peace.

As part of my emotional recovery, I was introduced to a creative process called SoulCollage®. I have always expressed myself well through creativity and SoulCollage® was an extension of that. It has helped me to connect with and embrace my “new normal”. It has revealed an inner strength and wisdom that I didn’t know I had and it has helped me to deal with my great loss. Through SoulCollage®, I have learnt to trust my intuition and that the answers, most often, lie within.

I have since qualified as a SoulCollage® facilitator and, more recently as a Life Coach and NLP practitioner. I am using my experience, as well as these qualifications to work with and help others. When I was still in hospital, I set the intention for good things to come out of my horrific experience. Things have unfolded from there and I believe that I am ready to turn that desire and intention into a reality.

I hope that my story will inspire you and give you some perspective. And that it will remind you that, regardless of what life throws at you, you always have a choice in how you respond.

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