Sudden Impact

“You can’t prepare for a sudden impact. You can’t brace yourself. It just hits you. Out of nowhere. And suddenly… the life you knew before is over. Forever.” – Grey’s Anatomy –

So often over the past 2 years, I have found myself thinking “What the actual fuck?” Life as I knew it has changed in every possible way. There was no warning. No time to prepare. And there is no going back.

Now I am trying to figure out how to go forward. I believe there is a purpose for me still being here, but no-one presents you with a manual or instructions on how to fulfill that. So I have been focusing on getting better. Getting physically stronger. With that, I have been able to start dealing more with the emotional impact of this life-changing accident. And that has been tough. Often I have done all I can to avoid feeling the pain, but experience has shown me that the only way to get through it is to go through it. Avoidance merely delays the inevitable. It is in the feeling of the feelings that healing begins. The pain doesn’t ever really go away. I don’t think it’s supposed to. And 2 years later, the sadness still comes in waves.

I will do my best to trust the process. And to share the process with those who have loved me and supported me through it all. I can’t see what’s at the top of the stairs, but, for today, I will take the first step.