I’ve just got home from my second shopping trip during lockdown. I had to queue twice before getting into the shop. I didn’t argue. I put on my mask and I waited. I grabbed what I needed and got into another line. Then I realized I didn’t have enough freezer space for all the meat in my basket, so I returned some, paid and left.

I got into my car, removed my mask and realized I felt traumatized. I had been surrounded by people for the previous hour, yet I felt all alone. Like a floating island surrounded by other floating islands, with no bridges between us. Like the physical masks we’re all wearing are some kind of wall, with only our eyes peering over the tops of them.

They say our eyes are the windows to our souls. If that’s the case, our souls should feel more connected than ever. But I think our souls are scared. Detached. Shut off. Fear is really our biggest wall. And one that many people are stuck behind most of the time. I am grateful I’m not one of those people. And maybe it is up to me to build a bridge.

Social distancing is necessary, as are our masks. I can, however, find other ways to connect. I can be kind. Greet the cashiers. Let someone go in front of me. Say thank you to the man picking up rubbish outside. I can even “smile” at the other customers with my eyes.

Today I will let go of my expectations of others and I will let it begin with me.

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